Old Lady Hands

Good news: St. Louis Police Officers are really nice.

Bad news: We got robbed.

Having someone break into your home really sucks. I don't like thinking that some punk has been walking around my house. Standing on my floors. Touching my stuff. Ew. Jerks.

Good news: The police came really quickly once we realized that we'd had unwanted visitors. They listened to our story and took note of the missing TV and cameras. The commiserated with us over the dumped out drawers and tangled jewelry box.

Bad news: Even though they dusted for prints, they didn't find any. The little jerks must have worn gloves. Sneaky punks.

While officer Katie was working away trying to find finger prints that didn't exist, her partner, our pal, Officer Doug, offered to take our finger prints in case, God forbid, something bad happen to either of us and we need to be identified. Well, we had nothing better to do while the Crime Lab was touring our house so why not?

Ten finger tips inked and two palms rolled. Officer Doug looks at my prints and then back at me.

Officer Doug: Can I ask you a personal question?

Me: Sure.

Officer Doug: How old are you?

Me: Thirty.

Officer Doug: Hmm...

{Pause}

He continues: Well, it's just that we don't usually see age crinkles like this in women until they are at least 50 or 60 years old.

Officer Doug (trying to recover): I mean, you look great for your age.

What?? I look great for my age? What age is that? Did you really think I could have possibly been in my fifties? Thanks mister.